Where is the exit door?

It's been quite some bit of time since I was last on this thing. I haven't found the motivation to write, share my life, or anything with anyone. The last 6 months have been the worst months of my life. I let myself get into another shit situation where I have to depend on people who don't care about me. I live with some one who I thought was my best friend.. but lately that person has only brought me down. They continuously remind me of the "favor" they are doing for me and constantly try to control my every move. Its becoming more and more like a prison that a place to stay and I'm getting fucking sick of it. I miss all my real friends, my sisters, my family. I miss knowing someone actually fucking cares about me. I'm not playing the "pity" card. I don't want people to feel bad for me.. I just want out of this current hell hole and back into whatever blissful life I was living before this. Because even though it wasn't ideal and didn't feel perfect at the time.. anything is better than this.

I never thought things could get this hard. I've been in tough situations before.. I've always found a way to fix them, or a way out. Why not this time? Why does this time have to be so fucking difficult? The day that Mike said he was leaving, I never imagined shit hitting the fan like this. Everyone says it will get better. When? People say set up a goal list, and accomplish one thing at a time.. but what if everything in life needs to be fixed? What if you can't pick just one thing to focus on because if you pick one thing.. something else on that list gets worse? What if you're stuck in a fucking rut so deep you can see the top and you feel the bottom coming up on you quick? I don't need a list to know everything sucks.